ROTTWEILER, WHO?

IF THE SIGN BOARD IS MEANT TO BE A THREAT, DOES THE HOUSE-BREAKER 

READ ENGLISH?

By R Akhileshwari

Social scientists expound to us the various methods of communication, the how and why of it, theories to explain the finer aspects and importantly, how some of it is effective and some not so effective.

Then there is non communication, according to me. Can we call that an exercise in futility? For instance, a sign on the gate of a house announces 'Rottweiler inside.' As information, we accept it with awe. But as a threat for whom it is meant, namely guys who break into houses, is it effective? Does he know what is a Rottweiler? More basically, does he read English?

Then there is this leading resort in Hyderabad which has given exotic names to its different ventures like P.Heights and P.Valley. The only problem is that 'heights' is flat land and valley is hilly land! In our neighbourhood, a cramped apartment complex is called Rolling Meadows! Sure, it is evocative but may be names should also be less ambitious? An equally ambitious name given to yet another (better built, admittedly) apartment building in the neighbourhood is Vineyard Cedar. Sadly, there is not even a blade of grass growing anywhere in the vicinity, forget a majestic cedar!

The best is this sign that is not a sign really. It is a statement. A funny statement at that. It says, "Forget the dog, beware of the owner." Those who communicate have hit upon this brilliant idea of putting up 'no parking' signboards with the name of the institution or product. So every gate in the neighbourhood, of an apartment complex or an independent house, has stuck to it this commandment, the 11th, I believe, that thou shalt not park in front of the entrance.

I regularly pull out the signboards put on my gate by obliging salesmen or what ever these gentlemen are called and dump them in the garbage. Not because I want all and sundry to park in front of my house but I find it a futile exercise. If we can and often do park right under the no parking sign with the fine amount specified put up by the cops on the busiest of roads (at least in Hyderabad), nothing will deter a determined car driver/owner from parking where he pretty much wants to! I found a soulmate the other day. His sign said "Kindly do not park here." Now, that sounds much nicer than the shout, no parking!

It is certainly more respectful. But is it effective? Don't know but mate, I am moving on.

Published in Deccan Herald