Beyond marriage and motherhood

By R. Akhileshwari

Girls should be taught to think beyond marriage and motherhood. Society should instill in them a sense of self-esteem.

Social change is attributed to several factors including access to education, exposure to different kinds of culture and experiences, a trend adopted by large number of people and so on. One thing that does not bring about change in attitudes, values and deeply ingrained social practices is making a law. For any law to effective, especially those dealing with social traditions, a multi-pronged approach is necessary combining the law, a system of stick and carrot and example set by the elite of society. Child marriages are one such social evil that cannot be eradicated by law.

An argument has been put forward, no less than by a Supreme Court bench that compulsory registration of marriages could deter child marriages. The argument is slightly off the mark. Certainly, it is time we registered all marriages, jut as we do the births and deaths but whether it prevent child marriages or increase the age of marriage, especially of girl children, is arguable. There are already a plethora of laws to protect women against dowry and age of marriage. Making one more law will distract attention from dealing with the problem squarely which is to value the girl, not treat her as a “guest” in her home.

Poor social status

Child marriage should be seen for what it is, a manifestation of the poor social status of the female which in turn results in the female fetuses being aborted in the prosperous states of Haryana and Punjab, in the killing of girl babies by the poor in Tamil Nadu and in the marketing of the girl babies in the poverty-stricken Lambada families in Andhra Pradesh. Despite Ram Mohan Roy, despite 60 years of Independence and despite a law that stipulates minimum age of marriage for girls and boys, child marriage is a reality which we as a civil society, have failed to acknowledge.

       

According to the UN, 38 per cent of adolescent girls in India in the age group of 15-19 are married off. In South and East Asia, India along with Bangladesh, has the highest number of children born to this group of under-age mothers. Early marriage is closely linked to early, repeated and unplanned child-bearing. Death rates are higher for both mothers and babies as teenage bodies cannot stand the rigours of pregnancy and childbirth. Teenage mothers have greater number of miscarriages, death during childbirth, low birth-weight or stillborn babies.

Child or teen marriages also result in sexual abuse, rape and servitude of the girl children. Postponing marriage and child-bearing gives girls the chance for more education, better health for themselves and their children. Interestingly enough, an improvement in economic and educational status has not resulted in concurrent improvement in women’s social status. The age of marriage of a girl is a stark example of the continuing low social status of the female, whether in a rural or urban home, rich or poor, illiterate or educated.

A study puts the median age at marriage of women in urban areas at below 18 years and 14.9 years in rural areas. Though the median age has increased in urban areas, still over 76 per cent girls in urban and 83 per cent in rural areas get married before they are 18 years, the minimum age for marriage. This is not surprising. Any middle-class parent who has an adolescent daughter in school will know that her friends or classmates begin to drop out of school from 9^th or 10^th class onwards, to marry.

The trickle at high school gains momentum in the Intermediate and becomes a flood at the degree level. Very few make it to post-graduation while the number of girls in professional courses is miniscule. If the rural-based, poverty-stricken parents opt for marriage for their pre-adolescent daughter to reduce one mouth to feed or because it is the ‘tradition,’ the urban-based, better-off parents are no better. They too are held hostage by tradition and the thinking that the more the girl gets educated, the more individualistic she will become, not amenable to the dictates of her parents, community and the rest of the world. So, she is married off to keep her under control.

The “model” states of Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka and the developed Maharashtra were among the 10 states asked by the SC recently to explain why child marriage continues as a bane in their states. Evidently, economic strides and technological leaps of these states have not percolated or impacted upon social values and traditions.

How to solve the problem? Education should motivate a girl child to dream and to achieve. As a society all of us should nurture ambition in girls. Not of marriage and motherhood. They can come later. First, she should realize that she has the qualities, talent and capability to scale heights. This change will not come about unless we as people in a position to influence others’ thinking make a conscious break from our own thinking that careers are meant for sons and marriage and motherhood for daughters.